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Shhhh - It was International Bacon Day
Hank, down at the Beaver Pond Pork By-Product Processing Plant, is beside himself. The ignorance of the general public is threatening to close him down.
Now, we here at the House of LeMay have tried to dispel the rumors about "Swine Flu" and to lend Hank a hand. In our post "Swine's Fine in Beaver Pond," Nurse Ann Thrax and Game Warden Bucky Snatcher reinforced that pigs are not involved in the flu. We've also told you about Hank's attempts to diversify...with things like Lard As Lube and Pork Flavored Vodka and even his new product SPAMB (the "B" makes it better). And we also told you about the banning of pigs from the Caledonia County Fair.
But, with all of that, Hank's planned celebration of International Bacon Day, under threat of boycott, was canceled last Saturday. Hank had hoped to keep the celebration quiet, hoping it would be a private pork party - but word got out, the radio wingnuts started protesting, and boycotts began. What's a pork by-product processor to do?
And what a shame. Hank had some fun things planned. He was going to hand out his new home pork-butchering chart.
The bacon sandwich eating contest.
And the pork fashion show.
But was was most disheartening was the debut of Hank's new delicacy, the Bacon Explosion...
PEOPLE, YOU CAN NOT GET THE FLU FROM PIGS, SWINE, OR PORK.
